he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
