fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
