At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Randomize
