You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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