I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
This is my gift to your gina
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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