We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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