Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
