he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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