You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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