Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
