do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Randomize
