I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
