I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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