sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Ladies don't puke and tell
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
