My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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