I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
