Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
