I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I forgot how hot balto sounded
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
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