would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
