"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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