Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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