felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
