i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
