bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
