so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
She's like a pop up book from hell.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
