Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
