I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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