i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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