I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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