why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
