I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
