I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
