so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
