My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
