Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Too much gin, very little bucket
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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