i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
