I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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