He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
