you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
How external is "for external use only"?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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