i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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