playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize