so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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