paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I want to make a zoo with you.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
