is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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