She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
