I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
