sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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