I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
