***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize