Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
