More tranny stories later!
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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