he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
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