its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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