glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
