I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
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