My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Drunk is not a location!
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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