Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
My Sexting was not on an AP level
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
