the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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