I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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