I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize