yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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