My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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