you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
