How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
